Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
