Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
What a dumb baby whore.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
