Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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