Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
