you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
