I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
