And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
