There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
