Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
