My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
