She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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