erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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