you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
