Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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