why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
