Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
