He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
birth control should be required to get into college
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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