I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
