so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
