She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she smelled like a LAN party
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
