How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
