we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
