i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
