when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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