dude i'm inner monologue high
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Randomize
