Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
