thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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