remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
