i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
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