everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
