i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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