he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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