I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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