Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
