Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
