hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
