Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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