Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
