So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
