we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
