He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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