Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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