my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
