Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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