it's not cheating when I paid for it
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
