I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
