So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize