Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
