She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
