He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
