She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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