I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
