part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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