I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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