Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Im part way to drunk.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
