oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
