So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
