You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
