He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
