Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Boobs speak an international language.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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