Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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