If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
