Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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